How to choose your therapist

and why I offer a first 20-minute exploratory in-person or online meeting

When it comes to the choice of a therapist, very likely you rely on the advice of a friend or a colleague who has had a good experience. You may also try to get an appointment with a therapist you have recently heard on the radio, seen on TV or read a book they wrote, because what they said resonated with you and because of idealization: if they are interviewed, if they have written a book, they must be good. To a large extent they are. But, are they good for you?

This is the core of the question. You are not looking for “a” therapist, or the “ideal” therapist. You are looking for “your” therapist. What does this mean? It means that you are looking for somebody who is right for you, independently from the type of training they received and the school of thought they belong (psychoanalysis, cognitive, structuralism, systemic, behavioral, etc..). Somebody with whom you have not only a good connection but also a transformative connection that originates from the authentic encounter between two human beings. A connection after which both you and your therapist are somewhere else from the point where you both departed.

Look for a therapist who is ready to walk the walk with you and has a genuine interest in what comes next in your life

If you have specific psychopathologies, a good way to start is also to ask your GP for reference, very often they will know a therapist specialized to support your specific needs.

Whether a friend or your GP recommended the name of the therapist, or you have found them yourself through an advertisement or the social media, always check the therapist’s background. They must have completed certified studies from a traceable university and belong to a recognized association of therapists. In the case of psychoanalysts, like me, they also must have gone through an analysis themselves of the duration of a minimum of 300 – 400 hours to make them aware of the functioning of their own psyche, before they look into somebody else’s.

So now you have two or three names in your hands what do you do with that? Call them all and ask them the questions that you want to ask. Do not be shy. What is their specialization? Can they meet you during the most convenient time for you? What is their fee? Beyond the replies you hear to the practical questions you have asked, you will have a feeling of whom they are and whether they are good or not for you. Chances are that you respective unconscious are already communicating at a totally different level, without you realizing it.

Ask whether it is possible to have a first meeting free of charge.

I personally offer a first 20-minute exploratory in-person or online meeting, beyond the first call, free of charge to ascertain whether the client and I can work well together.